


Trigger Happy

by Katseester



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fondling of Crossbow, Other, Threesome - F/F/Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:50:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katseester/pseuds/Katseester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke and Isabela decide that Bianca is in much need of some feminine influence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trigger Happy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xarnluz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xarnluz/gifts).



> I have nothing to say except that I looked up references of crossbows + Bianca to write this, and at one point I had 10 tabs open and was flicking between them all. I'm sorry.

"Good evening, Varric."

"Oh, Hawke, Rivaini. Perfect timing; I was just about to test out Bianca's improved trigger action and needed some practice targets."

"I hope you're not asking us what I think you're asking us," Hawke says, approaching his alcove as Isabela shuts the door behind them. "I've had enough of being skewered for one day."

"Besides, we're here for an entirely different reason," Isabela supplies. "One that involves myself, Hawke, and one saucy little crossbow."

"Excuse me?" Varric asks. "And what, pray tell, would that entail?"

"Why don't we show you?" Hawke says, pushing Varric back into his seat and gathering up Bianca from her spot on the table.

"I don't think I like where this is going," Varric says, slowly, as though trying to piece together the events that would lead up to this.

"Oh, _come_ now, Varric," Isabela purrs, words dripping honey-sweet. "I think it's about time Bianca experienced a more... _feminine_ touch. Don't you think so too, Hawke?"

"Oh, definitely," Hawke agrees, and lets her finger dip just a little close to Bianca's trigger. "She needs someone other than Varric to smudge up her finish and get her covered in fingerprints sometimes. Then buff it out, nice and slow." To emphasize her point she rubs her thumb in rough circles over Bianca's stock.

"Ladies, please," Varric says, clasping his hands in front of him as though making a business offer to the both of them. "Bianca is a very delicate specimen and her fragile balance might be upset by such...handling."

"Are you telling me Bianca can handle killing dozens of bandits in a day but she can't handle us?" Hawke asks. "Tsk, tsk, Varric. Not a very polite thing to say."

"Dozens of bandits don't have quite the same amount of destructive power that you two do when put together," Varric contends. "And to be quite honest with you, suddenly double-teaming her isn't exactly the most prudent or subtle approach. You need to be _gentle_ , coax her out of her shell."

"Oh, is _that_ all?" Isabela laughs. "Are you telling me I can't just grab her here - " she presses her fingers to the protruding arrow track, "and rub her until she's all wet and moaning? No? Maybe she needs something a bit more...versatile." She runs her tongue over the groove, lathering and flicking, occasionally pausing to suck on the end and doing an overall excellent job at miming a bizarre cross between fellatio and cunnilingus. A faint tinge appears at the edges of Varric's collar, and Hawke counts one point toward victory.

They're lucky Varric cleans his crossbow obsessively after every fight.

"Now that's absolutely obscene," Hawke chides. "You can't just jump right in there with your tongue and expect to get results. You need to touch and caress, make her _really_ want it. Like so." She brings her fingers to Bianca's limb, massaging her them into the metal, and catches Varric pulling at his collar from the corner of her eye, complexion decidedly more flushed than usual. "You might want to be careful, Isabela. Wouldn't want Bianca to lose control and unfold while you're doing such a _good_ job of making her feel good. She'll need a nice, long polishing after this."

"That can be arranged," Isabela murmurs. "I wonder, has she ever been between the legs of another woman before? Maybe she needs to be shown how?"

"That is quite enough," Varric interjects, attempting to pluck Bianca from their grasp. "You're going to corrupt her, make her cross a line that can't be uncrossed."

"What's this? Are you _jealous_?" Isabela asks, reluctant to relinquish her grip on Bianca's supple stock. "Don't tell me she hasn't! Poor Bianca, there are some things that Varric just can't show you."

"Right, well, this has been lovely and I'm sure Bianca quite enjoyed herself, but now it's quiet time," Varric grumbles. "Have to get your spit out of the flight groove."

"But we were just getting into it," Hawke argues. "Don't tell me you just want to leave Bianca _unfinished_ like that."

"Bianca is perfectly fine, no thanks to you two," Varric says, dancing out of reach and pointing toward the door. "You two can finish each other off if that tickles your fancy, just leave Bianca out of it. You've confused her enough for one day."

"We'll be back," Isabela promises, blowing Varric and Bianca a kiss each. "We'll show her what it means to be _really_ pleasured."

"You do that," Varric grumbles. "Wait, on second thought, don't."

They make their exit, Isabela cackling gleefully. Once out of eyesight she holds out her hand for Hawke to slap.

"Did you see the look on his face when I started licking her?" Isabela asks, snorting laughter escaping just barely after she's stopped talking. "Maker, it was almost enough to make me break character."

"And when I started fondling her metal I could've sworn he was going to join us," Hawke chuckles. "That was quite fun, wasn't it?"

Isabela snorts.


End file.
